Once Your Up You Go Down..

okay so here it is...
i ask my stepdad for a fair trade .. give up a christmas present .. for something i real real want!
i mean i would usual ask for real EXPENSIVE christmas present close to $200 atleast.. ( on ONE thing its self)
but then i said okay im going to do a fair trade and confront him about it.. as there is ALOT of things i can not confront my stepdad about.. my mum yeah i can with certain things cause then we find a way .. with my stepdad he would give me a lecture about his life and how things should be! call him really OLD FASHION!
but then he told me i was actually going to get you a new car.. had no rego but obviously i was going to buy it .. but he didnt get me the new car cos he knew i wasnt going to save @ all for my rego.. which dat really put me down.. then he started tlking bout my earnings how i dont save @ all and yeah im not good @ it but i have done it i mean like rents asked me 2 get a job for my personal things all the fings i have broughten wasnt from them! i had 2 work for it like i HARDLY ask for things for either of them no more!
the Wii i didnt even ask for it .. my stepdad just brought it
my mummy got me a top 2day $50 she didnt complain she jst brought it .. thank you mummy
but then like my stepdad just makes my happiness go down..
2day i was in a sad mood ..
i dont know why ... just memories coming to my head
and i didnt want to talk to anyone so i turned off my phone
i think i might jst disappear for awhile.. i need space ):
when my dad gave me the lecture bout myself, savings , the way iam with stuff
i thought bout ALL the bad stuff bout me and the things i need to change about myself *sighs*
i dont know i really dont feel like talking to anyone atm ..
well ALL my close friends and besties arnt online so sadface bout that!
well im only talking to Sefer - funny kid he is but mehh =/
im going to do the dishes or do something else like schoolwork or play playstation 3 or playstation 2 or even the Wii
mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i dont even know whats wrong with me 2day :(
i WANT a hug ):
if any of my close friends or besties see this -- im not upset @ you guys!
im just confused and upset @ myself..

`kiiaRAH!